pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize
