My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
