Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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