it wasn't lemon gatorade
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
