Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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