just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
