You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
