The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
