So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
