do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
