guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
