it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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