at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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