My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Randomize
