So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
