If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
