And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
