please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
