You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
