Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
