Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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