you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
She told me I should be a condom model.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Randomize
