More tranny stories later!
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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