someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
