Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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