I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
