Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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