the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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