This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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