Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
