Sry I called you an 8
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
