hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
