I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
