omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
