Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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