talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
