its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Can I color on your dick again?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
