If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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