Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
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