what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
