When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize
