I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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