I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
