Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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