I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
