That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Randomize
