i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
