So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
