So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
