I'm so fucking centered right now
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
