Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
